Well, I was close. They had four creepy "crystal gods", huge phallic obelisks that raised their hands to a spellcasting/"Nazi salute" level. One of them was "casting spells" directly at the entrance that the athletes came out of. The chanting, dancing Native Canadians supplied the spells.
What can I say, except Hitler would have loved Vancouver's opening ceremonies.
It's the same paganism/satanism that people are lining up to experience in Avatar. False gods, satan, and nature worship. For a thousand dollars a seat you, too, can take part in betraying the human race, along with all the souless bigwigs. Our tax dollars at work.
(Pagans don't believe in satan but, nonetheless, he is the head honcho of polytheistic religions. Who do you think Pan is, with his horns and his cloven hooves? And there is no "white magic" if you haven't figured it out yet, all spells and contact with spirits are from the occult. For details, read "Wicca" by William Schnoebelen).
Maybe the olympics committee is satanic, but Canada isn't. God should be in the olympic ceremonies.
It started off with Michaelle Jean, representative of the Queen. Also a representative of Haiti, whose official religion is voodoo. The recent Haitian disaster was not mentioned once.
Then Native Canadians appeared, dressed in wolf skins and eagle masks. Bad news already.
Their traditions are wonderful. Reviving ancient polytheistic beliefs from thousands of years ago is not. Many Native Canadians believe in Jesus but they weren't invited for obvious reasons.
Then came the creepy crystal totem poles so the audience could worship false idols.
In the middle of the phallic "poles" was a giant tom-tom with an "infinity" sign on it. Voodoo's in the house.
The tom-tom graphics switched to the olympic rings and the ritual dancers surrounded it.
Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado sang "Bang Your (Voodoo) Drum".
Then came an ad "coincidentally" featuring the song "I don't wanna work/ I wanna bang on the drum all day".
The VIP stands were shown frequently, and Stephen Harper seemed to disappear after about twenty mintues. Kinda strange, considering his claim that he put the entire government on hold for two months for this event.
The new age announcer started babbling on about how "the community sparks (a) ring of energy". More Avatar-style b.s.
"The energy of the people begins to radiate outwards", he chirped, "the energy rings ignite the Aurora Borealis". Who wrote this garbage, Shirley Maclaine?
Next is astrology. The four constellations shown are a buffalo, an eagle, a wolf, and a "spirit bear". Suddenly, a 20 meter high l.e.d.-light covered spirit bear appears. The announcer, who has apparently been smoking too much sweetgrass, refers to spirit bears as "elder kinsmen" or "uncles", a "connection between humans and animals". Straight out of Avatar.
Ice appears and breaks up, whales appear, then salmon. The sky is filled with sun faces.
Then the land turns green and
Sarah Mclachlan sings her new world order propaganda song "we're all part of the ordinary miracle".
The announcer mentions the Douglas firs in Vancouver's Cathedral Grove (Canada's "Bohemian Grove"?).
People "fly up". They do that alot in this show. Is that snow or pixie dust?
The full moon turns Harvest Moon orange and, in case the message has been too subtle, satan appears in a flying canoe. Everything goes red as Moon Blood.
Apparently, this "satan in a canoe" thing is based on the French-Canadian "Chasse-Galerie" legend, a legend so obscure that even French-Canadians don't know it:
Some guys sell their souls to take a flying canoe home in time for Christmas. Yeah, nothing captures the Christmas spirit more than selling your soul to save on airfare.
Back to the show, 6 fiddlers and 180 dancers appear. There's gotta be 666 symbolism in there somewhere.
The lead tap dancer is covered in tattoos. The others all "dance to his tune".
Satan is portrayed by "proud pervert" Ashley MacIsaac, who is studying to be a politician. No, I'm not making this up, refer to Wikipedia. Satan/Ashley plays "Devil in the Kitchen" on his fiddle. So where's the satanism, dude?
A guy in the prairies moonwalks like Michael Jackson and "flies" like Peter Pan.
After some thunder, lightning, and blizzards (provided by Zeus, no doubt, since God isn't invited to this party), we see the Rocky mountains being "born". Snowboarders "fly" around it.
Skaters zip around with Peter Gabriel's leftover light suits.
The audience beats its cardboard tomtoms.
The announcer/"warlock in training" says that "as the cauldron is lit, the magic will be released" and "in the glow and wonder of the flame, we can all aspire to be olympian (gods)". At least those of us with strong dna. The rest of you will be "retired". And since we're "olympian", we no longer need God.
The athletes are attempting to become "olympian". They want to be "human gods" with superior dna, worshipped by their fans.
Then a guy gives a new world order speech about how "we are one team". He adds "May God bless Canada". After your pagan ritual? Not likely.
The second speech giver, head of the international olympics committee, is a truly mirthless chap. He looks like Donald Rumsfeld. I can't help but wonder "If you're miserable, then switch from your Master to God!"
Androgynous singer k.d. lang sings "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, prompting most watchers over the age of fifty to declare "He's a good singer". The song is the usual perversion of religion that you can expect from Leonard Cohen. His "hymn" includes the singer engaging in S & M. Like in Avatar, "hallelujah" does not refer to God or Jesus.
An opera singer histrionically sings the creepy "Olympics Anthem", beginning "Immortal spirit of antiquity descend on us". God? Jesus? Uh, no, guess again.
One woman takes a vow for all the athletes. So now "one represents the many" and the "many" don't have a say. Sounds like the protesters being railroaded outside.
Incidentally, why are there "protest zones" in Vancouver (aka "safe assembly areas" or "free speech zones" or "protest pens")? I thought all of Canada was a free country with safe assembly and free speech guaranteed? Is this Canada or Beijing?
I was thinking "It would be great if God sabotaged this pathetic display". Then He kinda did. There were supposed to be four "erecting" phallic crystal obelisks, but only three worked. No viagra was handy.
Wayne Gretzky and his fellow traitors to God and Canada (perhaps unknowingly?) light the three giant "torches". Wayne catches a ride to the pier and lights up four more fatties and a "cauldron". Say it ain't so, Wayne. Leave the cauldrons to the witches in Macbeth.
The torch is a masonic symbol of Prometheus stealing fire from the gods for humans, thus becoming "Illuminated". The "Cauldron of Fire" is a masonic symbol for revolution and anarchy.
The announcer reminds us that the torch relay began on October 30. "Coincidentally" that's a satanic holiday.
The luge track in Vancouver is the fastest ever. The sharpest turn is at the bottom where the speed is the greatest. There is a string of unpadded steel poles where the fastest, sharpest turn in luge history is. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Today's luge tragedy was even televised and put on YouTube.
Then a truly scary thought occurs to me: Horror movies have a high actor mortality rate, presumably because they feel a "human sacrifice" is needed to assure the films' success.
What if luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, who "accidentally" died this morning, was a human sacrifice for the success of the olympics' message? Let's just say it wouldn't surprise me any more. Rest in Peace.
The mascots for the games are Miga, a mythical sea bear with an orca head, Quatchi the sasquatch, and Sumi, an animal guradian spirit with an orca hat, Thunderbird wings, and bear legs. Heaven forbid we have a real Canadian animal with no mystical "super-powers" as a mascot.
Olympics quiz:
1. Who introduced the torch relay?
2. Who built beautiful Banff, Alberta?
3. Where are cauldrons used?
Answers:
1. Hitler
2. Ukrainian slave laborers.
3. Cooking, witchcraft, and the olympics. Enjoy the "cooking show"!
© 2010
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